eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
