You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
