just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
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