haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
