why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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