there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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