you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
