I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
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