Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
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