Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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