I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
