it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
