Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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