Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
i believe in u and ur pee
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