Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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