she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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