You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
