THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
