Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
