I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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