sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
