just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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