Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
