i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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