brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
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