We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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