He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
The maid of honor just puked.
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
jump out the window naked night went bad
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
