Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
