Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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