Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
