great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
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