My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Randomize
