remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize