who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Dicks are not precious.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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