I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
