I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So vagazzling was a success
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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