He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
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