I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
