pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
