You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
