I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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