You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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