He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
