i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
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