Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I met the friendliest cop last night
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
