I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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