When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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