also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
