i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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