Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Randomize
