okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
