I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
