New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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