I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
