I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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