i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Randomize
