12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
