that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
