ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I stole a fireplace last night.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
