its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
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