I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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