Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
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