He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
