I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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