Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
