I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize