God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
